Obey the cookie ...?

Haha while cleaning my room last night, I found this lovely poem my friend Kyle and I wrote in our senior english class (which was actually my junior year). The class was a joke (a very entertaining one, to be sure) so we just sat in the back corner being ridiculous the whole time, paying no attention yet somehow being totally on top of things, meanwhile getting probably the best grades in the class, and I’m not even kidding. The screwing around extended into our actual assignments, including this poem, which for some reason was a group thing… o.0 As a poem, it’s pretty awful. As awesomeness, it’s pretty awesome.

Obey the cookie, so you must

If in your life you place your trust

For if you don’t, I warn of woe

This, so very well I know.

The time will come when carrots fly

And then you must prepare to die

For when the airborne carrots come

The cookie is the only one

That can save you from this dreaded fate

So obey the cookie, for the cookie is great!

Many enemies will arrive for battle

Armed not with a knife, nor bow, nor lance, nor paddle

But with an indestructable sword of foam.

Now there’s a weapon worth a poem!

If you are not also equipped with a foam sword

Your opponent will likely get rather bored

For you will die quick, yes you will die fast

and your death forever and ever will last

For death is something that can’t be reversed

Unless it was caused in a battle rehearsed

With a sword made of jello or goo

Making it rather hard to actually stab through.

It’s another story if the goo is glowing

Because then you must hide from radioactive snowing.

I would suggest, when the world goes helter-skelter

That you take advantage of the cookie’s shelter.

The cookie will protect you when no one else can.

The cookie is awesome. The cookie’s the man!

Don’t diss the cookie, or beware its wrath

No fury compares to that which the cookie hath.

With power over carrots and jello and foam

The cookie is watching wherever you roam

So even if respect is something you lack

Obey the cookie, and it will watch your back.

No matter your status, or struggle, or strife

Obey the cookie if you value your life!

@NathanFillion: Paul Allen. You DO have millions and millions of dollars. You DON'T have a Firefly collection for your Sci-Fi Museum.

@NathanFillion: I DO have lots of crap I stole from the set of Firefly and Serenity. I DON'T have a kick-ass house in the Hills with a pool and guest house.

@NathanFillion: Maybe we could work something out...

(via browncoats, but I watched him tweet this too)